During a casual telephone conversation with one of my relatives’ I was asked about what I cooked for the dinner and as I said “paneer butter masala” she asked, oh you cook such exotic stuff so often, you husband likes them? “ I said, yes, I only cook the dishes that he likes”, and to that she responded, oh but it should be the other way around right, he should be eating what you like! This made me think about this so called “feminist” attitude. Gender equality is good, but is this gender equality? This is just reversing the trouble. Earlier men had the upper hand and now when women enjoy economic freedom and power they are reversing the process which is alarming, and equally troublesome as it was towards women.
Feminism. This is a word which makes me wonder what it really means. What is feminism? According to me it should be feminine – ism. That is being feminine. And what is being feminine. ? Everything about being a woman i.e. being soft, caring, loving, beautiful, pleasant, everything is feminine.
I do not know from where this attitude of “harassing the men” came up! Men and women are like two sides of the same coin. In India we have the Ardha nareeswara concept which is the ideal gender equality. It cannot be conveyed or described in a better way than the Shiva Parvathy, the Shiva being a part of Parvathy, and vice versa. The masculinity and feminity in the same body, logic and emotions in the same body, such a beautiful concept. Shiva never thought of Shakthi as someone less than Him, but the same. They had mutual respect, and Shiva gave knowledge to Parvathy and at the same time listened to her in utmost respect too.
All my life I saw men being as vulnerable as women. My father, uncles, brothers, my husband, everyone excelled when there was support from women. Men are the ones who needs to be loved and cared like a mother cares her children, even after they grow out of that age, somewhere in the mind I always felt they had a craving for love and affection and men becomes insensitive and rough usually when they lack this support system in their lives.
Men and women cannot be exactly the same. We cannot expect them to be same. But they are like counterparts. One needs love, the other one has it in abundance. One needs to be handled patiently, the other one has the patience in abundance. If you go by saying women can do anything as men and go about trying to prove that, definitely you can prove it but at what cost?
Women need not BE men to convey gender equality.
They just be themselves. Be loving, caring, patient, pleasantly looking, compassionate and take care of the family and the entire society. It is that way women can conquer men not by being men! I have seen women who do not wear jewelry, wear men’s clothing and think that they are no less than men! or women who has got everything provided and baccarat life going great, still has this attitude “feminism” in them thinking all men are trouble makers and they need to suffer.
There are women who are equally abusive, and torturous and manipulative and destructive as men can sometimes become. So it is not based on any gender and definitely gender equality is not acting like men!
Feminism is the most overrated and abused word I would say. I have seen men who are vulnerable, who were not ashamed to get the support of women. Most of the men are totally dependent on women, whether mother, wife, sister or daughter.
Somewhere along the line the selfless service that the women used to do dwindled. I have to remember here my grandmother who passed away three years ago at age 94. I never saw her grumbling or demanding. she was always giving, she was always having this thought of giving, providing, food or comfort, to her children, grandchildren, and other guests who would come home, I never saw her doing something for herself. She had no illnesses at all.
She never suffered from knee pain or back pain, or diabetes or blood pressure! Not even a headache! She always had that kind smile and patience to withstand anything. She never burst out like the modern women, who has economic freedom, the best of clothes, best of comforts and best of husbands, still burst out for silly reasons. They had immense patience. And is not this selfless attitude that gave that extra glow around their face which no beauty treatment can provide?
Women these days trying to compete with men, lose their feminine charm and it’s a proven fact that polycystic ovarian disease and other such disease conditions has become a common problem. Polycystic ovarian disease is a condition where the male hormones dominates the female hormones in women and as a cure, women are advised not to block their feminine energy by dressing like men. Today’s women who are all-rounders and do most of the jobs that men do, and along with it, their body also changes accordingly giving rise to an increase of male hormone and creating havocs in their mental and physical health.
The ideal situation would be men being men and women being women. When women accommodate men’s idiosyncrasies it is not that they are doing that because of their weakness, it is their strength. By no way they become less if they cook what the husband likes. Someone who knows how to cook can always cook what she or he likes, but what about the person who does not cook? Then you ask what the other person likes, and the give priority to that and cook. This is a plain, simple, good gesture that our women had been doing for long. Similarly in all aspects. The men got their strengths, like they are less emotional, provides more balance, and more physical strength to undergo hard work.
Let us hope for a better future where men and women are treated alike. Especially in the wake of women overpowering men. It is as dangerous as male chauvinism. Men and women should be taken care of well enough emotionally, mentally, and physically for a better society.